MHNEB 33 (2/2)

Book 2: Generals die after a hundred battles; heroes return after ten years’ time.

Chapter 33: The Biggest Inconveniences of Ones’ Life [Part 2 of 2]

-xxx-

Under the imperial policy, there are 12 ranks. the first rank is Martial Calvary Military Officer. However, this title is an empty title. It means that in the future, you will only enjoy the treatment of a military commander, and you will not have the corresponding military power. If you want to lead in the military, you will need to be bestowed with an official duty in the military. 

Just like Hua Mulan, she has fought a lot in her life, and her military skills have reached the point of "the twelfth rank". Her treatment is equal to the "upper pillar of the nation" of the second pin (0), but her actual duty is only the "The Valiant General" of the fifth pin, and the number of soldiers she led is what a fifth pin military official would lead. 

He Guang touched the dog-skinned quilt and he sighed. His sigh was almost not visible. However, he tried to squeeze out a smile.

"I'm afraid I don't know how the army trains soldiers, but it's still interesting to have such an experience."

"It’s good that you are able to think so." He Mulan does not like children, but this does not prevent her from seeing them as adults. Since they are adults, she would not specially take care of them.

"The two of you can get familiar with each other. You can walk around the left and right-wing of the house. Your horses are taken care of by my little brother in the backyard. If you want to ride it, you'd better not run too far. I will go to the market once every three to five days. If you have anything you want to buy, you can tell me directly and I will bring it back to you."

Before You Ke left, he stuffed a small bag of pearls to He Mulan, so that He Guang would not have eaten several free meals. He Mulan was not sure what kind of food and accommodation He Guang wanted in her house, so she provided it according to the best treatment she could give at her home. When his family came to pick him up, she would return how many beads of pearls left to his family accordingly. 

A-Dan Zhuo is the child of A-Dan ZhiQi, so naturally, he cannot be treated as a guest. But she did not want to treat the two children differently.

You Ke said that he put his cousin in her house to temper him, so she also would not be polite in “tempering” him. 

A-Dan Zhuo is very happy as long as he is around Mulan. He nodded and laughed immediately. He Guang's personality is gentler, but when he heard Hua Mulan's tone of treating them not as younger but as peers, he also smiled.

Seeing that these two teenagers are so easy to make arrangements for, He Mulan explained some things that should be paid attention to in terms of food, clothing, housing and transportation. After that, she went to the warehouse to pick up two big bags and threw it to the room threw it into their room.  

"He Guang, here are your luggage and clothes. Take care of them. A-Dan Zhuo, you can't wear my little brother's clothes. Come with me to get some of my bigger clothes to wear first."

It was early winter when A-Dan Zhuo set out from his hometown. Now it is November. It is much colder. Although A-Dan Zhuo said that he was not afraid of the cold, and he had a jacket when he was at home when she watched him running around in such thin clothes, all the more she felt that she had to help in prepare a few pieces of fur coats. 

When A-Dan Zhuo returned to the house where they lived together with some fur coats, He Guang looked like he was unable to sit or stand still in the room. When A-Dan Zhuo came in, he jumped up like he saw a saviour.

"Big Brother A-Dan, you came just in time…..." He blushed. "I feel a gripping pain in my stomach. I think I'm going to have a stomachache. Could you please help me to find some clean toilet cloth…..."

A-Dan Zhuo felt nervous for him when he saw him act this way. He nodded his head hurriedly. He came yesterday and was more familiar with Hua Mulan's house. Now he led him to a small toilet behind Hua Mulan's house and pushed him in.

"It's here. Go ahead and settle your inconveniences. I'll find some toilet cloth for you…..." He pushed him a few times, but he saw that He Guang had the meaning of backing away, and was puzzled. "What's wrong with you? Aren't you in a hurry to do it, hurry up…..."

He Guang could not help but point to the toilet and say: "This……Around the four sides of the room, there is the wind that would be able to slip through it…..."

A-Dan Zhuo felt what he said is very strange. 

"The toilet of Aunt Hua's house is already very good. Our house’s toilets are all in the open air, and we just surround it with haystacks. I know you are a noble gentleman, but now is not the time to pay attention to it. Go right in! "

After saying that, he gave a hard push to He Guang and shoved him into the toilet. He practised sword and blacksmithing since he was young. He did not know how much stronger He Guang was. With this push, He Guang almost stumbled several times before he entered the toilet. When he just went in, he could hear several grunts from the pigsty next to it that called out suddenly. He felt that he was about to cry from this.

"Big Brother A-Dan, here……Why are there pigs next to the toilet? "

"Oh, it seems that the Spring festival is coming soon. Aunt Hua brings it back and they are killed during Chinese New Year. Hua family’s uncle asked her to keep it here." A-Dan Zhuo does not think much about his question. Whose family’s pigsty is not connected with the toilet, right? 

He Guang could not bear his stomachache now. He lifted his clothes and tied them up. He stepped on the toilet pit carefully. He did not dare to look down. He could only close his eyes and concentrate single-mindedly on settling his inconveniences.

When He Guang was half-way through in settling his inconveniences, he suddenly thought of a horrible question. He shouted out immediately. 

"Big Brother A-Dan, are you outside? Big Brother A-Dan? Big brother A-Dan?”

There is no sound outside. Come to think of it, A-Dan Zhuo may have already gone far away to help him look for toilet cloth.

He squatted in place for a while, only to feel that the wind blowing from nowhere made his buttocks cool and his whole-body cold. He regretted that he had come in, and at the same time, he clenched his teeth to silently admit that "the heavens invest a person with great responsibilities" (1), and he silently accepted this with his eyes red.

In Hua Mulan’s room. 

"Clean toilet cloth?" He Mulan looks at A-Dan Zhuo strangely. "I don't have this kind of thing here."

When she saw this type of thing for the first time and after she knew how to use it, she almost broke down. Later, she bought the worst paper material and used it. 

She did not dare to let the Hua family know about this until now. Every time, she used a small bamboo cage to secretly store the used toilet cloth to find a place where was it to bury it. 

At this time, the paper is a rare thing, even the cheapest paper is also very sacred because it carries knowledge and facilitates learning. Ordinary poor students have no money to buy paper, so they can only write on the ground with sandbox. Hua Father has learned some words in the army. Hua Mother also knows some simple words because her elder brother taught her how to write, but they seldom use paper to write, mostly wood chips.

That was why they take the importance of paper more seriously than ordinary folks.

She could not imagine what it would be like if the Hua family knew that she was using the "sacred paper" to wipe her ass. 

They would probably have a brain malfunction……

A-Dan Zhuo thought that when He Mulan said "I don't have this kind of thing" was that she didn't have a piece of toilet cloth that she used before, and he felt that even more troubled now.  

He did have the toilet cloth that he brought with him everywhere, but the He family's lad said, "I'd like you to find me a clean toilet cloth". His toilet cloth is for his own use, and he’s also afraid that He Guang would despise it. 

But he is not familiar with the Hua family. At this time, it would not be easy for him to ask if he needs to look for other people to request their toilet cloth. 

He Mulan saw that he had something to say but he did not say. Suddenly, she felt her brain was connected and she asked him with a faint pleasure:

"Did that lad He Guang ask for it?"

A-Dan Zhuo nodded his head like a chicken pecking at rice.

"He's the son of a noble family. I fear that he wouldn’t be able to get used to our family’s toilet cloth." He Mulan walked to the cabinet in the room in a few steps, opened the cabinet and took out several pieces of rough paper.

"You can go ahead to give this to him and let him use it first."

"My God! Aunt Hua, this is the paper for writing! " A-Dan Zhuo stepped back in fright. "No way, no way, This is too…... " He couldn't find any adjectives to describe this situation, and he was in a hurry so he was even more speechless, “Can’t…..Can't use it! If people were to know of this, they’d criticize us behind our backs!” 

"Who would let others know?" He Mulan waved her hand. "We can't possibly let him just squat in the toilet all afternoon while we look for unused toilet cloth, right? Use it first. It’d be fine if you don't tell others about it. "

"I……I...... " A-Dan Zhuo's expression was as if he was going to take a beautiful woman to wipe his buttocks. Although he took the paper that He Mulan stuffed it to him, he didn't move for a long time.

"What are you standing there for? Go on!" He Mulan hurriedly urged.

"But Aunt Hua, I still think..." A-Dan Zhuo looked at the paper in his hand and could not help pinching it to feel the texture of the paper. It is not some good quality paper, but it's still writing paper……

"This matter needs to be settled urgently.” As soon as He Mulan saw the appearance of A-Dan Zhuo, she knew what other people's attitude would be towards this matter. "He is a guest and we cannot slowly or rudely treat him.”

After A-Dan Zhuo listened to what He Mulan had said, he felt jubilant. 

What Aunt Hua means is that she does not treat him as a guest, but as someone of her own. 

He was so excited that he did not even know when he walked out of the door holding the paper. When he got to the door of the toilet, he looked at the paper in his hand, but he didn't have the heart to send it in. He only shouted at it in a low voice:

"Are you done, He family’s lad?"

He Guang's legs are soft and his limbs are weak. When he heard the voice of A-Dan Zhuo, he cried as if he had been pardoned: "Big Brother A-Dan, I’m done, I’m done, have you brought the toilet cloth?"

“……” A-Dan Zhuo bit his teeth and asked tentatively, "I didn’t find any clean toilet cloths, will you use mine first?"

Momentarily, there was no sound in the toilet.

The atmosphere was so terrible that even A-Dan Zhuo could not bear it.

A moment later, He Guang's clenching of his teeth sounded out: "Big Brother A-dan, if you really can’t find it, please find me a set of clothes, tear it up and pass it to me."

A-Dan Zhuo sighed.

This kind of rich noble gentleman really will not use the things from a villager like him. 

He felt a little sad and a little regretful, but he sent the paper in and handed it to He Guang, who was covering his mouth and nose.

"Here you are. Aunt Hua asked you to use this first."

"Eh? Isn't this paper? " He Guang took the rough paper and looked at the A-Dan Zhuo in front of him. "Big Brother A-Dan, can you…..."

He made a gesture of asking him to turn around.

A Dan Zhuo made an ‘oh’ sound twice. He suddenly saw the light and turned his body around. 

He Guang finished his inconveniences. He readied himself to get up, but he could only bitterly smile and started to think aloud. 

"Now it seems that you are also here with General Hua, and it’s a blessing for me…..."

"Big Brother A-Dan, I'm going to bother you again…..." He whispered to A-Dan Zhuo with his back to him.

A-Dan Zhuo turned back inexplicably and looked at him suspiciously.

"Please help me up..." He blushed with shame.

“My legs are numb……”

This is just the first day!

This is actually just the first day!

He Guang listened to the pig hum next to the toilet, and then he glanced at A-Dan Zhuo who is lifting his pants.

Paternal grandma, can I really go back alive?

-xxx-

The author has something to say: 

In fact, toilet cloth is quite ergonomic. It is a small hexagonal bamboo piece, which can be used repeatedly after being cleaned, and it is only used by people with insight. Ordinary villagers use grasses, tile pieces and stones……

It’s a toilet cloth that is ergonomically suitable for mankind. 

-xxx-

Mini Theater: 

A few days later, Hua younger brother asked his elder sister with slight embarrassment.

Hua MuTuo: Sis, the new gentleman that came, did he……treat the use of paper like toilet cloth?

He Mulan: …… (guiltily nods her head).

Hua MuTuo: (heartache) these rich sons of the Han-ren are simply sinning!

-xxx-

(0) Pin (品): refers to the ‘grade’ or ‘level’ or ‘rank’ of the official in court. In ancient China, rank in the court and military defers. The separation of power in the royal court and military would often be distinct depending on different dynasties. Therefore, having a second pin in the court does not equate to having the second rank in the military. Essentially, in Mulan’s era, military power is stronger than court power (political power). 

(1) This is an ancient Han poem by Mencius. The full poem goes like this: “Whenever heaven invests a person with great responsibilities, it first exercises his mind with suffering and his muscles and bones with toil. It exposes his body to hunger and subjects him to extreme poverty. In this way, his patience and endurance are developed and his weakness is overcome.” – Credits to here
Basically, He Guang is complaining, but he convinces himself that heaven is giving him great responsibility by subjecting him to suffering.  

-xxx-

Fleur's Corner: 

!! Important to read: I'll place the translation of this novel on a semi-hiatus now because #1 I just realized this novel has a contract with a publisher in China, and I don't want to translate a novel that is contracted with a publisher because of obvious reasons. #2 Knowing that the official Chinese drama for the novel is going to be aired, perhaps there will be an official translator taking over the novel. And if so, please give your kind support to them. 

I'll be removing this novel if the Author or publisher reaches out. 

I'm still discussing with my editor on whether we should drop this novel as well (but please do not have high hopes for this). I really enjoyed translating for all of my dear readers. Please support the officially published novel as well. You can find it in jjwxc by searching on the raw novel name. 

For retranslators, please feel free to translate from the raws, though I'd bear no responsibility to it. The same goes to anyone who wants to pick this novel up. 

I still have several chapters in my stockpile (till c36), so after publishing them, I'll stop updating on this novel. The translation schedule remains the same (2 days per update) until c36 is published. And I may be removing c22 to the latest published if needed in the future as well. 

Most importantly, this is only a fanbase translations, so please support the Author or original translations if it's out! 

I'm really thankful for my dear readers here of MHNEB. 

As for any future projects, I'm really not sure now. Please check my Tumblr for any upcoming announcement, I guess. 

-xxx-

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter